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3月24日

zz让人心疼的12句话,哪句说到你的痛了

1、有些事,我们明知道是错的,也要去坚持,因为不甘心;有些人,我们明知道是爱的,也要去放弃,因为没结局;有时候,我们明知道没路了,却还在前行,因为习惯了;
2、以为蒙上了眼睛,就可以看不见这个世界;以为捂住了耳朵,就可以听不到所有的烦恼;以为脚步停了下来,心就可以不再远行;以为我需要的爱情,只是一个拥抱。
3、那些已经犯过的错误,有一些是因为来不及,有一些是因为刻意躲避,更多的时候是茫然地站到了一边。我们就这样错了一次又一次,却从不晓得从中汲取教训,做一些反省.
4、你不知道我在想你,是因为你不爱我,我明明知道你不想我,却还爱你,是因为我太傻。也许有时候,逃避不是因为害怕去面对什么,而是在等待什么。
5、天空没有翅膀的痕迹,但鸟儿已经飞过;心里没有被刀子割过,但疼痛却那么清晰。这些胸口里最柔软的地方,被爱人伤害过的伤口,远比那些肢体所受的伤害来得犀利,而且只有时间,才能够治愈。
6、很多人,因为寂寞而错爱了一人,但更多的人,因为错爱一人,而寂寞一生。我们可以彼此相爱,却注定了无法相守。不是我不够爱你,只是我不敢肯定,这爱,是不是最正确的。
7、如果背叛是一种勇气,那么接受背叛则需要一种更大的勇气。前者只需要有足够的勇敢就可以,又或许只是一时冲动,而后者考验的却是宽容的程度,绝非冲动那么简单,需要的唯有时间。:
8、生命无法用来证明爱情,就像我们无法证明自己可以不再相信爱情。在这个城市里,诚如劳力士是物质的奢侈品,爱情则是精神上的奢侈品。可是生命脆弱无比,根本没办法承受那么多的奢侈。
9、人最大的困难是认识自己,最容易的也是认识自己。很多时候,我们认不清自己,只因为我们把自己放在了一个错误的位置,给了自己一个错觉。所以,不怕前路坎坷,只怕从一开始就走错了方向.
10、生活在一个城市里,或者爱一个人,又或者做某件事,时间久了,就会觉得厌倦,就会有一种想要逃离的冲动。也许不是厌倦了这个城市、爱的人、坚持的事,只是给不了自己坚持下去的勇气。
11、多少次又多少次,回忆把生活划成一个圈,而我们在原地转了无数次,无法解脱。总是希望回到最初相识的地点,如果能够再一次选择的话,以为可以爱得更单纯。
12、如果你明明知道这个故事的结局,你或者选择说出来,或者装作不知道,万不要欲言又止。有时候留给别人的伤害,选择沉默.

美国人眼中的中国神兽:纽约时报记载的"草泥马"

 
A Dirty Pun Tweaks China’s Online Censors
Published: March 11, 2009

BEIJING — Since its first unheralded appearance in January on a Chinese Web page, the grass-mud horse has become nothing less than a phenomenon.

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Songs about a mythical alpaca-like creature have taken hold online in China.

Multimedia

Video The mud-grass horse

(youtube.com)

Video A grass-mud horse cartoon

(youtube.com)

The popularity of the grass-mud horse has raised questions about China’s ability to stanch the flow of information.

A YouTube children’s song about the beast has drawn nearly 1.4 million viewers. A grass-mud horse cartoon has logged a quarter million more views. A nature documentary on its habits attracted 180,000 more. Stores are selling grass-mud horse dolls. Chinese intellectuals are writing treatises on the grass-mud horse’s social importance. The story of the grass-mud horse’s struggle against the evil river crab has spread far and wide across the Chinese online community.

Not bad for a mythical creature whose name, in Chinese, sounds very much like an especially vile obscenity. Which is precisely the point.

The grass-mud horse is an example of something that, in China’s authoritarian system, passes as subversive behavior. Conceived as an impish protest against censorship, the foul-named little horse has not merely made government censors look ridiculous, although it has surely done that.

It has also raised real questions about China’s ability to stanch the flow of information over the Internet — a project on which the Chinese government already has expended untold riches, and written countless software algorithms to weed deviant thought from the world’s largest cyber-community.

Government computers scan Chinese cyberspace constantly, hunting for words and phrases that censors have dubbed inflammatory or seditious. When they find one, the offending blog or chat can be blocked within minutes.

Xiao Qiang, an adjunct professor of journalism at the University of California, Berkeley, who oversees a project that monitors Chinese Web sites, said in an e-mail message that the grass-mud horse “has become an icon of resistance to censorship.”

“The expression and cartoon videos may seem like a juvenile response to an unreasonable rule,” he wrote. “But the fact that the vast online population has joined the chorus, from serious scholars to usually politically apathetic urban white-collar workers, shows how strongly this expression resonates.”

Wang Xiaofeng, a journalist and blogger based in Beijing, said in an interview that the little animal neatly illustrates the futility of censorship. “When people have emotions or feelings they want to express, they need a space or channel,” he said. “It is like a water flow — if you block one direction, it flows to other directions, or overflows. There’s got to be an outlet.”

China’s online population has always endured censorship, but the oversight increased markedly in December, after a pro-democracy movement led by highly regarded intellectuals, Charter 08, released an online petition calling for an end to the Communist Party’s monopoly on power.

Shortly afterward, government censors began a campaign, ostensibly against Internet pornography and other forms of deviance. By mid-February, the government effort had shut down more than 1,900 Web sites and 250 blogs — not only overtly pornographic sites, but also online discussion forums, instant-message groups and even cellphone text messages in which political and other sensitive issues were broached.

Among the most prominent Web sites that were closed down was bullog.com, a widely read forum whose liberal-minded bloggers had written in detail about Charter 08. China Digital Times, Mr. Xiao’s monitoring project at the University of California, called it “the most vicious crackdown in years.”

It was against this background that the grass-mud horse and several mythical companions appeared in early January on the Chinese Internet portal Baidu. The creatures’ names, as written in Chinese, were innocent enough. But much as “bear” and “bare” have different meanings in English, their spoken names were double entendres with inarguably dirty second meanings.

So while “grass-mud horse” sounds like a nasty curse in Chinese, its written Chinese characters are completely different, and its meaning —taken literally — is benign. Thus the beast not only has dodged censors’ computers, but has also eluded the government’s own ban on so-called offensive behavior.

As depicted online, the grass-mud horse seems innocent enough at the start.

An alpaca-like animal — in fact, the videos show alpacas — it lives in a desert whose name resembles yet another foul word. The horses are “courageous, tenacious and overcome the difficult environment,” a YouTube song about them says.

But they face a problem: invading “river crabs” that are devouring their grassland. In spoken Chinese, “river crab” sounds very much like “harmony,” which in China’s cyberspace has become a synonym for censorship. Censored bloggers often say their posts have been “harmonized” — a term directly derived from President Hu Jintao’s regular exhortations for Chinese citizens to create a harmonious society.

In the end, one song says, the horses are victorious: “They defeated the river crabs in order to protect their grassland; river crabs forever disappeared from the Ma Le Ge Bi,” the desert.

The online videos’ scenes of alpacas happily romping to the Disney-style sounds of a children’s chorus quickly turn shocking — then, to many Chinese, hilarious — as it becomes clear that the songs fairly burst with disgusting language.

To Chinese intellectuals, the songs’ message is clearly subversive, a lesson that citizens can flout authority even as they appear to follow the rules. “Its underlying tone is: I know you do not allow me to say certain things. See, I am completely cooperative, right?” the Beijing Film Academy professor and social critic Cui Weiping wrote in her own blog. “I am singing a cute children’s song — I am a grass-mud horse! Even though it is heard by the entire world, you can’t say I’ve broken the law.”

In an essay titled “I am a grass-mud horse,” Ms. Cui compared the anti-smut campaign to China’s 1983 “anti-spiritual pollution campaign,” another crusade against pornography whose broader aim was to crush Western-influenced critics of the ruling party.

Another noted blogger, the Tsinghua University sociologist Guo Yuhua, called the grass-mud horse allusions “weapons of the weak” — the title of a book by the Yale political scientist James Scott describing how powerless peasants resisted dictatorial regimes.

Of course, the government could decide to delete all Internet references to the phrase “grass-mud horse,” an easy task for its censorship software. But while China’s cybercitizens may be weak, they are also ingenious.

The Shanghai blogger Uln already has an idea. Blogging tongue in cheek — or perhaps not — he recently suggested that online democracy advocates stop referring to Charter 08 by its name, and instead choose a different moniker. “Wang,” perhaps. Wang is a ubiquitous surname, and weeding out the subversive Wangs from the harmless ones might melt circuits in even the censors’ most powerful computer.

Zhang Jing contributed research.

3月5日

滴水寒 节选


  大街上不同寻常地躁动着,刘地接连看见两辆警车拉着刺耳的警笛冲过去。再往前走,一条街道被封锁了起来,警察把围观的人群阻拦在外面,刘地凑近一名女郎问:“小姐,这是怎么了?”
  女郎回头瞄了一眼,冷淡的脸上立刻泛开了笑容:“听说动物园跑了一只熊猫,正在捉呢。”
  “熊猫?那种胖乎乎、黑白花色的动物吗?”刘地摸着下巴问。
  “讨厌,你捉弄人啊,难道连熊猫都不认识。不过呆在这里也挺无聊,不如我们……”女郎正要对刘地发出邀请,却发现眼前那个很帅的青年不知何时不见了。
  “哇,什么东西!”警戒线内,一个警察忽然叫了起来,“有什么东西跑过去了。”
  “哪有什么?”
  “我也看见了,好像是只大狗。”
  “109,109,有只狗向你那边跑过去了,有只狗向你那边跑过去了!”一个警察用对讲机通知同事,对方马上回了一句:“吃饱了撑的,我们是来抓熊猫的,不是抓狗!”相互调侃几句,这个插曲便过去了。
  刘地边走边嗅,轻而易举地找到了把头塞在两个纸箱子之间瑟瑟发抖的熊猫。刘地抬起前爪在它身上轻轻一拍,熊猫发出一声嚎叫窜上了半空,看到刘地,它更是双爪抱头哀鸣着:“不,我不要让狼吃掉……救命啊,我没肉,不好吃……”
  “狼?”在第一次看见他原形的对象那里听到这个词,刘地心情大好,拍拍还在叫着“我没肉,不好吃”的那只胖得有点过头的熊猫说:“喂,人类来抓你了,还不逃?”
  “动物园、笼子、展览、标本……”熊猫又发出了一连串的哀嚎。
  刘地赞叹一声:“了不起,我现在封你为立新市最胆小的妖怪,鹿九最多排第二。”他费力地拖着熊猫,在人们检查到这里之前潜入了地下,几秒钟后,适应了地下光线的熊猫又怪叫一声:“蛇!”
  刘地扭头看看:“这不就是稍大一点的蚯蚓吗,哪有蛇?”熊猫还是一味地发着抖,刘地瞬间产生了丰富的联想:它看到稍大一点的蚯蚓就叫蛇,那么刚才看见自己叫狼的话,不就是……他举起爪子在熊猫头上狠狠地来了一下。
  “它……”瑰儿看着缩在沙发中发抖的熊猫,“它就是我看见的那只熊猫!”
  “它是从山里来找周影的。”刘地刻意省略掉“和火儿”三个字,“不过它是雄性。”
  “什么!”瑰儿一下子睁大了眼,她来到被刘地吓坏了的熊猫身边,伸出手按在它头上,柔声细语地说,“不要怕,不要怕。”
  山鬼一族安抚动植物的特殊能力让这只极度不安的妖怪终于安静下来。瑰儿问:“告诉我,你叫什么名字?”
  “林梦竹。”
  瑰儿险些摔倒,这么诗意的名字,竟然属于这只过度肥胖而且胆小的熊猫,害自己还以为……她又问:“那你知道不知道柳倚松是谁?”
  “我二哥。”
  又是一只熊猫!瑰儿撞墙的心都有了:“你们来这里干什么?”
  “找影子哥和……”林梦竹话还没说完就看见了瑰儿眼中的凶光,吓得把“火儿”两个字又咽了回去。
  “影子哥?!”平时只有火儿可以亲密地叫他“影”而已,这只熊猫竟然……瑰儿快哭了。她并不知道那时的周影还没有姓,山林中的妖怪就叫他影,影子,狗影子(因为它总帮火儿抓妖怪吃)、鬼影子(因为他神出鬼没),挨千刀的影子(因为……)等等。她求助地看向刘地,却发现刘地看着窗外若有所思地皱着眉头。
  开门声传来,从不耽误工作的周影奇迹似的出现在门口,和他肩上的火儿都是一副沮丧的样子。
  “影子哥……”熊猫发出一声欢呼,四肢并用越过沙发,直撞进周影怀里,周影虽然有三百年的道行,但为了接下这沉重的一击还是不得不后退了半步。熊猫四爪盘住周影放声大哭,“影子哥,我把大哥二哥丢了……呜呜呜……怎么办啊……”
  “到底是你丢了人家还是人家丢了你啊。”火儿说着向身后抬抬翅膀,瑰儿这才看见,周影身后还跟着两个青年男子,一个细长,一个瘦矮,瑰儿认出他们正是白天在广场抬走熊猫的那两个人。
  “大哥,二哥……”熊猫又哭着扑过去,不过这两个人自认为接不下它这一击,吓得都躲到周影后面去了。
  “梦竹,你越来越胖了,看起来长得很好吃了。”火儿拍着熊猫圆圆的脑袋说。瑰儿本以为这只胆小的妖怪肯定会被必方吓昏过去,谁知它却一点都不害怕,反而哭着又要去抱火儿,不过被火儿一脚蹬到了旁边。
  柏怜梅、柳倚松、林梦竹,这三个充满了诗情画意的名字的主人分别是喜鹊、松鼠和胖熊猫,当瑰儿知道这些名字是由周影取的之后,真的倒了下去。
  据说那一年,周影在一棵柏树上拾到了一只冻僵的喜鹊,把它挂在梅树上晒活了过来,在松树下捡到一只摔晕了的松鼠,又在林子里捡回一只哭着找竹子的熊猫。本来是要给火儿当零食的,火儿却不想吃妖怪以外的东西,刚好那一年又有帝流浆……三个名字就是这样起的。只不过,周影能起出这样的名字本身就太惊人了,名字背后的故事反而不怎么吸引瑰儿。
 
3月2日

盈盈此语,深得我心

旁观众人见令狐冲如此使剑,自然均知他有意相让。任我行和向问天相对瞧了一眼,都是深有忧色。......令狐冲显然决计不肯胜过师父,更不肯当着这许多成名的英雄之前胜过师父。若不是他明知这一仗输了之后,盈盈等三人便要在少室山囚禁,只怕拆不上十招,便已弃剑认输了。任、向二人彷徨无计,相对又望了一眼,目光中便只三个字:“怎么办?”任我行转过头来,向盈盈低声道:“你到对面去。”盈盈明白父亲的意思,他是怕令狐冲顾念昔日师门之恩,这一场比试要故意相让,他叫自己到对面去,是要令狐冲见到自己之后,想到自己待他的情意,便会出力取胜。她轻轻嗯了一声,却不移动脚步。过了片刻,任我行见令狐冲不住后退,更是焦急,又向盈盈道:“到前面去。”盈盈仍是不动,连“嗯”的那一声也不答应。她心中在想:“我待你如何,你早已知道。你如以我为重,决意救我下山,你自会取胜。你如以师父为重,我便是拉住你衣袖哀哀求告,也是无用。我何必站到你的面前来提醒你?”深觉两情相悦,贵乎自然,倘要自己有所示意之后,令狐冲再为自己打算,那可无味之极了。
3月1日

Now I don't have to like it for a moment

Just be with myself for some time
So I am just talking to  myself.
My life is my own choice. I don't have to like it always, but I will remember there is a price for every life you choose and you will pay
And I always do
 
 
So... anything you do, it is your own choice too.
If you choose to do things that will make me unhappy, -- and you know it well that it will 
It is your choise too.
 
 
Don't act like, talk like, and complain like, you did not have other choices
You know you always do
Don't you feel it cruel
that soemone who is already unhappy
still have to comfort  you  and resure you
that you are allowed to make the choice
to make  her even more unhappy.
 
If you don't what love is
Let me tell you how I feel
Love can make you heaven or hell
Love can let you make others heaven or hell
Sometimes I feel both
And now I just feel one of them.
 
Maybe just because I have paid too much price
for choices not  my own
Like I always do
 
**Lonely panda, tiny and thin, sitting on the dead log, and staring at fake view
Do you really think she knows, what she is looking at and where she should go?